My post-gym falafel joint is the safest place in Rockville, MD

"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
09/05/2018 at 22:29 • Filed to: None

If a hitman wanted to find me, they wouldn’t have to try very hard. Just look for the stupid bright blue BMW in a suburban DC strip mall with both a gym and a Halal Guys. But...I’m ok with this.

There are always mad cops up in the Halal Guys, and the Chipotle that’s also in this same strip mall.

Tonight, I used my white privilege to ask one of the cops why this particular strip mall is so full of Rockville city police all the time. He replied,

“There’s not much open late around here and this place is open til midnight, can’t beat that.”

So no, there is no crime wave near my gym.

I didn’t have the heart to tell him that Halal Guys closes at 11 pm Monday thru Wednesday, 12 am on Thursday and Sunday, and 1 am on Friday and Saturday, but he’s close enough.

Then I got in my stupid modified car with no front plate that the local suburban cops care much less about than getting their late night shawarma fix, and drove off into the night, traveling the precisely 1 mile back to my house to get my grub on.

Here are other random pictures from the evening.

I’m very impressed with the quality of the Google Camera app! Portrait mode could use some work for not-quite portrait objects. The built-in Essential portrait mode I think may be better but it doesn’t do the noise/detail like GC am.

DISCUSSION (17)

facw > Textured Soy Protein
09/05/2018 at 22:41

This is in the shopping plaza at Rockville Pike and Wootton right?

When I was a kid I went to a hobby shop there for model rocket stuff, though it seems to be gone (not shocking, I seem to be excessively old these days).

Textured Soy Protein > facw
09/05/2018 at 22:46

You found me! Don’t tell any hitmen please.

I used to go to Circuit City in this plaza when I was a kid, until it moved further south on Rockville Pike when I was in high school. Food Lion is where Circuit City used to be. And way to call it a plaza like a local.

ranwhenparked > Textured Soy Protein
09/05/2018 at 22:59

Right down from DARCARS, right? I’ve been by there, never stopped in. Might be worth a look, though I do enjoy Silver Diner.

Textured Soy Protein > ranwhenparked
09/05/2018 at 23:03

I’m trying to think where the closest Darcars store is. This is next to trash-ass Ourisman Chevy/VW/Mazda, and I say that speaking from personal experience. Silver Diner is a couple miles south.

ranwhenparked > Textured Soy Protein
09/05/2018 at 23:18

Yup, that’s it then. DAR has a lot a block up from Ou risman, that’s where I picked up my Challenger. Very high pressure sales experience, but I did get them to knock a decent amount off by grabbing my keys off the desk and standing up and threatening to leave multiple times.

Textured Soy Protein > ranwhenparked
09/05/2018 at 23:30

Ahh yeah the Darcars Mopar, got it.

Cash Rewards > Textured Soy Protein
09/05/2018 at 23:31

Halal guys used to be one of our favorites back when we'd go out to eat more. That red sauce is just fire, though.

Textured Soy Protein > Cash Rewards
09/05/2018 at 23:40

I had the red sauce the first time I ate there because I was like, “hey I like hot sauce, generally.” Dude said it was spicy and he wasn’t lying. Never again.

Oh Mama Grill is a better local falafel s ha warma joint but it’s not open late in the same strip mall as my gym. It’s ratty as hell too but they have way more toppings.

Kinja'd!!!

DipodomysDeserti > Textured Soy Protein
09/06/2018 at 01:44

Yeah, if there’s one group of individuals who can’t shoot unarmed people on the street with impunity, it’s cops. Much safety.

Those cops are eating Gringopolte while spying on the Halal Guys for DHS.

BMW makes the best blues. Saw an X5 this morning that was a teal/blue color. Ugly car, but gorgeous color.

Steve in Manhattan > Textured Soy Protein
09/06/2018 at 03:15

Grew up DC and Rockville- that’s either off Shady Grove or Rockville Pike. But go ahead and embarrass me.

Textured Soy Protein > DipodomysDeserti
09/06/2018 at 08:06

Several cops were inside Halal Guys, eating food from Halal Guys, as usual.

Halal Guys is like the chain gringo version of a falafel/shawarma joint.

Cash Rewards > Textured Soy Protein
09/06/2018 at 09:07

That looks fantastic.

I think for halal guys you have to find your shade of pink by mixing a bit of white sauce in. But I had a warning, thankfully.

Textured Soy Protein > Cash Rewards
09/06/2018 at 10:16

I don’t eat the white sauce on account of it being some kind of mayo-based concoction. I rock the tahini + BBQ sauce. B ecause we all know bbq sauce is an authentic Mediterranean top ping.

Cash Rewards > Textured Soy Protein
09/06/2018 at 10:39

Yeah, red sauce straight is not humanly possible. I think bbq is universal at this point, for better or for worse.

dtg11 - is probably on an adventure with Clifford > Textured Soy Protein
09/06/2018 at 11:56

Your Bimmer is stunning

that is all

Textured Soy Protein > Steve in Manhattan
09/06/2018 at 16:07

Rockville Pike is correct.

Steve in Manhattan > Textured Soy Protein
09/06/2018 at 19:50

Thanks Alex - what did I win!?